The book held several tragedies...hopefully ones that most of us haven't ever experienced; but tragedies just the same. Losing your mother at a young age is never going to be a positive position in a script; but certainly an intriguing one.
As is suffering through drug use and deception...but I don't want to be a spoiler. What struck me most was the last pages where the author, Donna Tartt,(cool...two T's), states,"What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster?"
What if?? Do you not hear that? Do you think that we are absolutely supposed to follow a course of self-destruction in order to find the goodness that dwells within? Do we have to make mistakes in order to improve our lives? What if we do have a predisposition to be "bad"if even so very slightly?
Well the last time I checked, I am only human...which brings me to my "bad" bucket list. Take a moment and recall the lessons you had to learn...did you take money from your mom's purse? Did you sneak a cigarette from your dad? Did you lie about where you were? Did you ride your bike without a helmet? What is it that causes us to take a risk and be bad??
Billy Joel says the sinners are much more fun...why is that? What is the need to be slightly off the perfect scale and display a bit of naughtiness? So here I am thinking about what I could do to be "bad".
I've snuck candy in my purse to the movies; well, have you seen the prices?
I've challenged several yellow lights while driving, well, I can't slam on my brakes...
I've purchased shoes that were not on sale but still told my husband they were...
I've had too much to drink while visiting with my mother-in-law... Wouldn't you?
I don't always grade my papers; seriously, can't I ever relax?
Now I must think of my top "bad" buckets...
I would love to book a flight and just go. Alone. No questions.
I would love to drink all damn day. Start in the morning and just drink until I fall asleep. Possibly including karaoke.
I would love to cross a "no trespassing " sign and camp out. Well...maybe just hang out .
I would love to talk back to my dad. Just to let him know I am a bit too old to be nervous around him.
I would love to start jumping into famous fountains...so that I can be rescued by handsome men.
I could go to church with my mom; exactly what a nice Jewish girl should do.
I don't want to harm anyone else... Just satisfy my own badness. Maybe I could get arrested. Doubtful. Maybe I could eat some shrimp on Yom Kippur. Yea Right. Maybe I could wear my Birkenstocks with socks. Never. Maybe I could buy a book and never read it. Hmmmm. I could stay up late listening to awesome music on a school night. Maybe I won't do the dishes...Maybe I'll drop the F bomb at least 5 times a day...
An older man asks his doctor..."please help me live to be a hundred"! The doctor asks him, "Do you smoke? " the man says no. "Do you drink?" The man says no. "Do you gamble?" The man says no. "Do you eat healthy?" The man says yes. The doctor then asks, "Then why the hell do you want to live to one hundred?"
Yes, I drink wine. Yes, I love potato chips. Yes, I would love to vanish for a few days no questions asked. Maybe I'll find a nude beach...Maybe I'll have dinner with an old lover...Maybe I'll start being who I really am.
Maybe my "bad" bucket list is just getting started. Maybe its who I really am. Maybe the good goes with the bad. Yin and Yang. Maybe two wrongs do make a right. Maybe I should just be myself.
Sheryl Crow says, "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad."
Maybe if it makes me happy, I should just be bad. Well, as bad as I can be. Actually, when I hear George Thorogood...I am bbbb Bad. I once threw up on a man in a wheelchair... Kinda bad.
But I had my reasons. Bbbb Bad.
